Cake Baking

As my son's birthday parties near, my time is spent making cakes... I so badly just wanna lick the beaters!! I don't think I'll be able to even try the cake! I've been really good the five days since starting my diet. I did have a moment of weakness last night and have a lean pasta with chicken meal last night. I've just not been able to satisfy my stomach lately and thought that might do.. It's lean and portioned controlled. However, as it taste yummy, the stomach ache was not so pleasant! Which I take as a good sign!! My son's even starting to enjoy my little diet. My boyfriend, on the other hand, likes to make foods he knows I want and eat them right next to me, letting me smell it and making "yum" noises the first few bites just to tempt me. He finds it hilarious, I find it frustrating!! He doesn't think there's anything wrong with how we eat. In his eyes, if he still wants to hop into bed with me, there's nothing wrong. He's gonna find something wrong with his bank account when I spend his money on new clothes since all mine are getting to snug!! 

I go to see the doctor in a week or so and I have to get bloodwork. My last work-up was bad. My doctor has never comment on my weight whatsoever (he got smart after I screamed at his nurse for telling me that I "may have enjoyed my holiday season a bit too much") but he is concerned with other factors of my health. I just want to be able to live my life and not worry that I'm killing myself with what I put into my body! And frankly, after I'm starting to feel this week, I think I was slowly killing myself with the foods. Some of the foods in moderate portions are necessary, but first I want to learn how to control my healthy eatings before I try to incoporate any junk into my life again.

My body is finally starting to adjust to the foods but it's still not happy with what it's getting! I thought if maybe I start exercising (a walk here and there) that things will get better but I'm not ready to over do it yet. So many times before have I tried dieting and exercise. I just get burned out too quickly. I've seen on so many talk shows about how you do changes gradually and ONE STEP AT A TIME. Life is all about one step at a time! I'm not gonna push myself too hard. I need to take my time if I'm actually going to make changes. For once in my life I'm not looking for those quick results... Yes it would be awesome to lose 15 lbs in a week or drop a pant size in a month, whatever. I know if I stick to this, I'm gonna see great results all around. I'll get there one day, but today, I need a rubberband around my wrist to slap myself every time I wanna lick the batter!!